Super-secret spy station at local ski resort

DOVER- The Central Intelligence Agency is broadcasting clandestine “subliminal” messages into Canada from a radio tower atop Mount Pisgah Ski Resort. The news first broke on April 1 when Deerfield Valley Snooze editor Ekim Derdle was accidentally added to an encrypted text exchange between NSA director Tully Gabber, vice president DJ Vanity, defense secretary Hedgewick Peters, and Mount Pisgah general manager Lee A. Potter, a former national security official. 
The subliminal messages are urging Canadians to feel friendly toward the United States, support 25% tariffs, and push their leaders to accept becoming the 51st state.   They also encourage Canadians to favor Dunkin’ Donuts instead of Tim Horton’s and to replace hockey with golf as the national sport.  
Vanity said there was no breach of national security with the text string and Gabber added that the president was in full support the CIA’s action.